WrestleMania 32
WrestleMania 32 (a.k.a. WrestleMania Star) was a professional wrestling pay-per-view--the 32nd presentation of World Wrestling Entertainment's biggest annual PPV--that took place on Sunday 3 April 2016 at AT&T Stadium in Dallas, Texas. It was reviewed by Damien, and friends, Kellen Scrivens and Tom Hemmings, on a special episode of the latter two gentlemen's wrestling podcast, A Cure for the Common Podcast. The PPV was marred from top to bottom with bafflingly idiotic booking decisions, appearances by WWE legends that made current superstars look like chumps (as always), and mostly poor quality matches--most of which saw the crowd favorites lose (if there was a crowd favorite in the match.) Matches *'Singles Match for the WWE United States Championship: '''Kalisto def. Ryback *'The final "WWE Divas" match ever: Team Total Divas (Brie Bella, Natalya, Paige, Alicia Fox and Eva Marie) def. Team B.A.D. & Blonde (Lana, Tamina, Naomi, Emma, and Summer Rae) *The Usos def. The Dudley Boyz *'''7-Way Ladder Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship: Zack Ryder def. Kevin Owens, Dolph Ziggler, Sami Zayn, Stardust, Sin Cara, and The Miz *Chris Jericho def. AJ Styles *The League of Nations (Sheamus, Alberto del Rio, and Rusev w/ King Barrett) def. The New Day (Big E, Kofi Kingston, and Xavier Woods) *'No Holds Barred Street Fight:' Brock Lesnar def. annihilated Dean Ambrose *'Triple Threat Match for the newly made WWE Women's Championship:' Charlotte (w/ Ric Flair) def. Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks *'Hell in a Cell (Stipulation: If McMahon wins, he would gain control of WWE Raw; if he loses, he is banned from WWE forever):' Undertaker def. Shane McMahon *'Andre the Giant Memorial 20-man Battle Royale:' Baron Corbin wins after eliminating Kane *The Rock def. Erick Rowan in an impromptu singles match (which now holds the record for shortest WrestleMania match of all time at six seconds) *'WWE Heavyweight Championship:' Roman Reigns def. HHH (w/ Stephanie McMahon) Why did it suck? *Above and beyond all else, this show reeked of haste and desperation *Vince McMahon still thinks you want to see Roman Reigns as the WWE Champion *HHH main-eventing a WrestleMania at 46 years old, while guys like Shinsuke Nakamura, Samoa Joe, and god knows how many others are stuck in NXT. *AJ Styles losing to a 45-year-old Chris Jericho *HBK, Mick Foley and Steve Austin make the League of Nations AND The New Day all look like complete chumps. Because, you know, you need to keep making retired wrestlers look like gods and kill the credibility of your current ''wrestlers. Vince Logic! *Charlotte winning the Women's belt instead of Sasha *Dean Ambrose having his balls completely cut off by getting almost zero offense in on Brock Lesnar and getting thoroughly destroyed *Most of the decisions were flat out ignored the next night on RAW; AJ Styles, after losing, went on to become #1 contender for the World Title; Zack Ryder immediately lost the Intercontinental Title, and Shane McMahon is in charge of RAW anyway for no apparent reason. Episode Highlights *"No, no, no...this was the Ginyu Force vs. Street Fighter bosses." *The three hosts discuss the combining of ''Highlander II and this PPV--''WrestleLander'' *"I don't care how many cans of Shaq Fu he prepared..." *If Damien became famous and demanded a SummerSlam match *Joel Schumacher directs WrestleMania *"McMahon looks like she's going to challenge Roman Reigns to defend Earthrealm in Mortal Kombat." *"McMahon looks like she's going to throw her staff at Earth to make Goldar grow." Category:Other reviews